Post No. 124: Hanging Out with the "Left" Crowd

© 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

The purpose of our blog is to assist college students (and others) in appreciating the roles of Common Sense and Personal Responsibility in evaluating their choices and making decisions. One of the ways in which we pursue these goals is through stimulating thought, and suggesting that there are more than 2 or 3 ways to view any issue. We have always suggested that there are at least 27.

In our preceding Post No. 123, Hanging Out with the “Right" Crowd, we examined various groups of friends or acquaintances with whom teenagers might seek to associate, and the potential influences that those contacts might have on one’s future and view of the world.

The designation of “right” was not intended to suggest a moral choice, or a political or philosophical one. We’re not here to preach. As we said at the end of our piece, we’re more interested in engaging people about how they think, not dictate what to think.

The most rewarding aspect of operating this blog over the past 15 months has been the expansion of our way of looking at the world through the contributions of others. We’ve since modified our sense of the number of ways to view issues; we now believe that there are at least 54 ways.

Perhaps it is only fitting that our most recent expansion of our world view was due to someone steeped in the fantasy and science-fiction world. One of our regular readers operates Buzzy Media Publishing, which produces high-quality science fiction and fantasy audio and MP3 format books. (To make their works even more interesting, they are read aloud by recognizable professional actors from such popular genre shows as Stargate SG-1, Babylon 5, and Buffy and the Vampire Slayer.) She is also a blogger.

She suggested that we add 5 additional types of friends or acquaintances to include in every teenager’s circle of friends:

11. A person of unshakable faith. One of our Senior Fellows tells the story of meeting one of his first undergraduate roommates, who was a Bible Thumper to the max, and his Southern Baptist minister Father. (Desiring to experience all ranges of people he simply accepted whoever the Housing Office placed in his room. His next roommate was a hippie, who was the anti-establishment son of a very wealthy family. He thought something was odd when the hippie started installing a huge clasp and padlock on an upper cabinet, and inserted a giant black plastic bag containing some organic material with a pungent smell.)

12. An atheist. And you thought that only Bible Thumpers were constantly proselytizing.

13. An agnostic. You’ll learn rudimentary diplomacy from this contact.

14. Someone very young. Check out the genius of a 12 or 13 year old college student. It’s a wonder to behold, and you’ll appreciate the concept of the inexplicable. The experience will also potentially make you a better parent.

15. Someone very old. With age potentially comes the 4 Ps: Perspective, Proportionality, Patience, and Philosophy.

We considered asking our readers to provide additional ideas, based on their experiences. In the mean time, we came up with a few more.

16. Someone with a handicap of some sort. The Logistician used to teach in a setting where there were many students with severe developmental disabilities. He watched them day in and day out give their absolute best, on a consistent basis. Interestingly, very few of them thought about what others thought about them. It was a non-issue. Dealing with people without an agenda is a refreshing experience.

17. Someone who is not physically (in terms of beauty or attractiveness) gifted, but who has it all. You’ll learn to appreciate the importance of attitude and how to treat others.

18. A racist / bigot, or some other intolerant. You’ll better appreciate the thought process, and why maintaining their view of the world serves a pragmatic, functional purpose in their lives.

19. A parent. While you’re getting slammed and having your naked body painted during Spring Break in Acapulco, they’ll be home working to provide for the kids. Check out the difference in priorities.

20. A married student. While you’re getting slammed and having your naked body painted during Spring Break in Cancun, they’ll be home wishing they were with you. Check out the difference …, well, perhaps some things are better left unsaid.

We imagine that the only thing left is for us to do come out with another post, Hanging Out with the “Moderate” Crowd.

Actually, we’d appreciate any additions to our list that you may have. Let’s hear from you.

In fact, we just got this one in as we were about to publish our post.

21. An excellent student. It is important to have a good role model up close and personal.

Post No. 123: Hanging Out with the “Right” Crowd

© 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

Viewing the resume of a “successful” person, one might conclude they planned their life path with meticulous care. However, for most of us, the majority of our “choices” are influenced by others.

We all might consider taking less credit for our purported successes, and more blame for our failures. Most good which happens to us is situational and serendipitous in nature.

The Logistician used to tell the story of an argument he had. He felt that everyone knew that brushing one’s teeth promoted good dental health.

A friend countered that many were not aware of its importance. Over the years, he learned to be careful about making assumptions, and consequently judgments, about what people know (and their motivations).

He often noted that those fortunate enough to have someone share knowledge, open a door, or inspire us, have a tendency to think others are similarly blessed.

Last month, we spent time with a 15 yr old, whose Mom attended 2 top institutions. She has gone to great lengths to ensure he attends the most prestigious private school in the area. We’re not quite sure whether he fully appreciates her sacrifices.

Yet, he must have some sense of the value of that education. He encouraged an older Step-Brother to also attend the institution from which he recently graduated. The Step-Brother said his younger schoolmate’s encouragement was a turning point in his life.

In the same environment where we met the 15 yr old, we spent time with a 19 yr old and a 54 yr old. One of us pulled out some dental floss to dislodge a stubborn piece of food. The 19 yr old and 54 yr old simultaneously asked, “What’s that, and what is it used for?” We might have expected them to question the propriety of flossing in public, but not its function. It reminded us of the teeth brushing story.

Apart from positive influences others can have on your life, there are negative ones. Some are obvious. Others, as our current US President can attest, are not. Just think Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers.

Malcolm Gladwell’s latest work, Outliers, explores how one’s environment determines the probability of success. While Gladwell focuses on geographical and physical environments, our experience last week reminded us of the inter-personal factors.

We’ve come up with a list of things for students to consider. They should ensure their close circle of friends includes at least one person who is from, is, or has, the following:

1. A distant land. Make sure that one of your roommates is a Brazilian. Their light-hearted, non-materialistic approach to life will serve as a stark contrast to western values.

2. A station wagon. There will be times you’ll need to transport 22 inebriated bodies. One designated driver can more efficiently convey the group.

3. A wealthy family. You’ll probably get to see both the good and the bad associated with wealth.

4. A poor family. You’ll definitely get to see both the good and the bad associated with poverty.

5. A drug or alcohol problem. You’ll learn to appreciate the value of public embarrassment, and how using substances to an extreme, and without an appreciation of their effect, can be problematic. (Make sure this friend is not driving the station wagon.)

6. Been arrested for something which has been life altering (prior to you doing something foolish). There’s nothing quite like spending time in jail. It provides a whole new perspective on intimacy.

7. A beautiful woman. As the Laughingman once noted during a discussion about how to dramatically increase blog traffic, “Post pictures of Jessica Alba - Naked.” You’ll also learn to appreciate lots of other things about our national obsession with physical beauty.

8. A serious jock bound for the pros. There’s nothing quite like watching the Lakers a row or two behind Nicholson. You’ll also learn the dangers associated with everyone wanting to be with or around you, and treating you like a God, and as soon as they find out you’re not, how quickly they disappear.

9. An engineer or better yet, a physicist. Boring perhaps, but you’ll gain an understanding of most things physical in the universe. And truth be told, most things are about the physical.

10. An artist. They’ll open up a whole new world not taught in the classroom.

Two other points. If you plan to run for President of these “United” States, be sure not to associate with anyone whose future conduct may potentially come back to haunt you.

Finally, hang out with folks who encourage you how to think, not what to think.