Post No. 210: She’s So Fine, There’s No Telling Where the News Went

© 2023, The Institute for Applied Common Sense™

SPOILER ALERT! Today, I’m an Equal Opportunity Offender. The success of this post is based on how many groups I manage to offend.

Despite my appreciation of consequences in life, I’m not concerned; because (unlike politicians) no one is paying me for my inconsequential nonsense (unlike politicians who we pay and whose nonsense is consequential). There is nothing like the power of money, having prompted the Vatican “Founding Fathers” to propose “greed” as a Deadly Sin. A black friend of mine is sending out proposals this week to KKK chapters, to build their websites, if the price is right.

I called him a few minutes ago to warn him that despite my failure to identify him and his location, he might see some protesters out front. He said that he would be on the lookout and get him promotional materials ready. He noted that he tried to join several of the chapters from which he solicited business, but he couldn’t get past the application question whether he was a Christian.

And yet, many were confused about the motivations of Herschel Walker, which upon investigation, arguably go back to 1983. Unlike the inability of police to identify “motive” amongst the mentally ill, I always say, “Follow the money, or lack thereof.” Its accumulation promotes unparalleled devotion and loyalty. Its absence has long term ramifications.

I delayed posting this for 7 days. Michael Richards of Seinfeld’s Cosmo Kramer fame destroyed his career in less than 100 words, and forfeited millions. Then I thought, “I ain’t getting paid. People ain’t reading my nonsense. Why should I care?”

A positive feature of old age is not worrying about offending others. To some extent you don’t care. You realize that by uttering a phrase which was unacceptable just 9 weeks before as an employee, no one will call from HR, or, as a business owner, serve you with a lawsuit. Despite my concerns about the current divisive environment, something is “unsettling comfortable” about being able to identify those who do not wish me well. Don’t forget about the convenient sudden onset dementia option. “He used to be so sharp.” You can get elected president by simply noting, “I was just joking.” And then there is “I'm just a dirty old man” option available when needed.

As one of my former girlfriends oft says to me, “Greene Man, but you digress. Focus.” I move to prospective “offended group No. 21.”

After a full year of drinking California Kool-Aid and breathing smog, I may be delusional about manipulation by elected leaders of “deeply divided” citizens. I don’t think so. I regularly speak to ordinary citizens of every variety, including friends of 45 years. I’m convinced (like Obama), there is more that binds us than divides us. Consider the reactions to George Floyd, the Buffalo supermarket massacre, Tyre Nichols, and Damar Hamlin.

It’s the professional politicians who stink, along with their sycophants. (I got that from one of my die-hard Trumper friends of 45 years.) On one of my no income platforms, someone noted former Labor Secretary Robert Reich, an academic I enjoy while on Kool-Aid, suggested a memo to media outlets.

Paraphrasing, he ordered that they stop referring to “labor shortage,” and try “living wage shortage” instead, along with “hazard pay,” childcare,” “paid leave,” and healthcare” shortages. Of my readers, 97% cheered as if they won the Super Bowl. I asked, “Is it because it’s (a) not true; (b) needs more detail description; (c) scares / discourages people leading to anxiety; (d) the media has too much power / influence; (e) we ordinary citizens can't handle the truth, or (f) a combination?

They pretty much obliquely suggested that the message to “the American people” needs to be crafted, framed, and spun, in pursuit of their goals. They engage in the same tactic about which they complain of the other faction. Heretofore, I appreciated why professional hubris and greed merchants felt citizens lack sophistication / ability and right to make their own informed decisions. But the fact that those of us not seeking elected office felt the same way caught me off guard.

Admittedly, Overbooker, once again, I digress. Focusing now, the most disgusting phrase which the most disgusting people in our country utter is “the American People.” We are not some monolithic body. Perhaps the local “Founding Fathers” were prescient opting out from direct democracy?

For those of you on the young side, click here to watch an entertaining video explaining the title of this piece. For older folks who still read, click here for lyrics, which you may have been previously reticent to sing or whistle out loud in our politically correct world.

I’ll just keep choosing my news outlets based on who captures my visceral attention, as I scan channels, with the sound off. I know the names of all 173 of them that really matter.