Post No. 209: Sneaking Peeps Down Rabbit Holes During Negro History Month

© 2023, The Institute for Applied Common Sense™

 

Many of us find ourselves complaining about the role of new media and social networking platforms in our lives, particularly that of kids.  Seattle recently sued Big Tech companies for a purported detrimental influence on the mental health of kids, which implicitly acknowledges the futility of parental involvement / responsibility.

While I appreciate the value of formal education in my life, it was not nearly as eye opening as two recent periods on internet platforms: (a) blogging since 2008 on Google’s Blogger platform; and (b) engaging folks on the Facebook group page I started, “Black Baby Boomers Who Seek a Better Future for All.” The page was prompted by my desire to better understand Donald Trump and the huge segment of the population, including Christian Evangelicals, who considered him akin to the Second Coming.

Consideration of and being open to widely varying, different views and positions, followed by revisiting our own, can't be anything but a good thing in my silly but pragmatic world. And here it was I thought that dementia was going to spoil the fun. One of our group page members has often forced me to use the phrase, "While I agree, I have a slightly different take...."

People on the platforms (and even friends throughout life), have always complained about the absence of hard and fast positions on my part regarding much in life.  I quickly disabuse them of that notion by informing them that I know the position that I would take should both Jessica Alba and Halle Berry pay me a visit, alone, and naked, should they be so inclined.

I was just saying yesterday that many of us in the late 1960s - early 1970s espoused anti-establishment views.  We campaigned against tradition and the old rules and values. Now, many of us appreciate how important they were in our lives and wish that we could bring them back, many of which cannot be rescued.  

The real institutions of value, I suspect, have changed with the times in some respects, but have continued to embrace the same fundamental rules and principles which existed long ago.  Consider, for example, the Seven Deadly Sins.

During my teenage years, I was the least experienced, least sophisticated, clueless creature on the planet, still trying to make sense of things.  It was a constantly changing landscape during those days, as it arguably should be with young adults.

In my dedicated effort to derive some modicum of benefit from my experience over the past 71 years, plus have forward thinking dominate my remaining years, history suggests that black folks have no choice but to at least intellectually segregate ourselves, take care of our own, build our own businesses and thus create our own jobs, with the ultimate goal of improving our communities as components of a civilized and evolved society.

I argue on a daily basis that while I consider it important to "appreciate” history, there is a danger associated with being consumed by the past, its wrongs, and wishful thinking. Interestingly, most protest and ask why I wish to deny our history; in response to which I ask, "Has humankind solved the racism issue?"

Black Baby Boomers are the last significant group with segregation, in all of its various forms, appearing prominently on our resumes. That's why duty requires us to seek a better future for all.  We, as societal members, ought to get the best out of that “learning opportunity,” as mucked up as it may have been.

In my view, every country and society, throughout history, has been built on gaslighting segments of the populace, beating them into submission, or instilling fear to suppress their interests. One of my partners used to refer to management as "herding cats," and the governance of citizens is most certainly not any easier.

Our challenge here in America is one of expectations in that our documents set a high standard. Reading the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Lincoln's Gettysburg Address might make one stare up in the sky as if they were handed down by Providence.  I often use the term "aspirational" to describe them.

The stark, pragmatic reality is that humans will never live up to the ideals outlined. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep trying, and yet we should always keep in mind the inherent limitations of humankind. My favorite Clint Eastwood /"Dirty Harry" line is, "A man has got to know his limitations...."

So, the most significant difference between being 17 and 71 is simply more experience under our belts and thus the ability to reduce the number of stupid things we do.  But we still have to at least keep trying to engage others and keep taking peeps down potential rabbit holes. 

Simply put, rigidity is counterproductive.

P.S.  As I put the finishing touches on this piece, PBS was featuring a revival of the Youngbloods singing “Get Together.”

Post No. 123: Hanging Out with the “Right” Crowd

© 2009, the Institute for Applied Common Sense

Viewing the resume of a “successful” person, one might conclude they planned their life path with meticulous care. However, for most of us, the majority of our “choices” are influenced by others.

We all might consider taking less credit for our purported successes, and more blame for our failures. Most good which happens to us is situational and serendipitous in nature.

The Logistician used to tell the story of an argument he had. He felt that everyone knew that brushing one’s teeth promoted good dental health.

A friend countered that many were not aware of its importance. Over the years, he learned to be careful about making assumptions, and consequently judgments, about what people know (and their motivations).

He often noted that those fortunate enough to have someone share knowledge, open a door, or inspire us, have a tendency to think others are similarly blessed.

Last month, we spent time with a 15 yr old, whose Mom attended 2 top institutions. She has gone to great lengths to ensure he attends the most prestigious private school in the area. We’re not quite sure whether he fully appreciates her sacrifices.

Yet, he must have some sense of the value of that education. He encouraged an older Step-Brother to also attend the institution from which he recently graduated. The Step-Brother said his younger schoolmate’s encouragement was a turning point in his life.

In the same environment where we met the 15 yr old, we spent time with a 19 yr old and a 54 yr old. One of us pulled out some dental floss to dislodge a stubborn piece of food. The 19 yr old and 54 yr old simultaneously asked, “What’s that, and what is it used for?” We might have expected them to question the propriety of flossing in public, but not its function. It reminded us of the teeth brushing story.

Apart from positive influences others can have on your life, there are negative ones. Some are obvious. Others, as our current US President can attest, are not. Just think Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers.

Malcolm Gladwell’s latest work, Outliers, explores how one’s environment determines the probability of success. While Gladwell focuses on geographical and physical environments, our experience last week reminded us of the inter-personal factors.

We’ve come up with a list of things for students to consider. They should ensure their close circle of friends includes at least one person who is from, is, or has, the following:

1. A distant land. Make sure that one of your roommates is a Brazilian. Their light-hearted, non-materialistic approach to life will serve as a stark contrast to western values.

2. A station wagon. There will be times you’ll need to transport 22 inebriated bodies. One designated driver can more efficiently convey the group.

3. A wealthy family. You’ll probably get to see both the good and the bad associated with wealth.

4. A poor family. You’ll definitely get to see both the good and the bad associated with poverty.

5. A drug or alcohol problem. You’ll learn to appreciate the value of public embarrassment, and how using substances to an extreme, and without an appreciation of their effect, can be problematic. (Make sure this friend is not driving the station wagon.)

6. Been arrested for something which has been life altering (prior to you doing something foolish). There’s nothing quite like spending time in jail. It provides a whole new perspective on intimacy.

7. A beautiful woman. As the Laughingman once noted during a discussion about how to dramatically increase blog traffic, “Post pictures of Jessica Alba - Naked.” You’ll also learn to appreciate lots of other things about our national obsession with physical beauty.

8. A serious jock bound for the pros. There’s nothing quite like watching the Lakers a row or two behind Nicholson. You’ll also learn the dangers associated with everyone wanting to be with or around you, and treating you like a God, and as soon as they find out you’re not, how quickly they disappear.

9. An engineer or better yet, a physicist. Boring perhaps, but you’ll gain an understanding of most things physical in the universe. And truth be told, most things are about the physical.

10. An artist. They’ll open up a whole new world not taught in the classroom.

Two other points. If you plan to run for President of these “United” States, be sure not to associate with anyone whose future conduct may potentially come back to haunt you.

Finally, hang out with folks who encourage you how to think, not what to think.